I can still remember the day I was diagnosed as breech so clearly. After a turbulent pregnancy I had been hoping that the birth would at least be straight forward, but it wasn’t to be. I attended an antenatal class, I’d downloaded apps and we’d made our birth plan…I thought I was prepared for what would happen. The reality is that although in the birth plan I’d given permission for medical interventions if they were needed, I didn’t actually consider that it would happen. So that day, everything came crashing down around me as the fear of something happening to our baby was once again within me.
We drove straight to the hospital and were quickly taken in for a scan where it was confirmed that our baby was indeed breech. Everything was a blur as our options were explained to us and we had to make a decision there and then as to what we wanted to do. As I was already eight days overdue there was such a sense of urgency as to having to make a plan. I had to decide between an elective caesarean or having the baby naturally which the midwife explained would be a ‘hands off’ situation from the midwives and at the sign of any difficulties I would be sent for an emergency caesarean. We could also opt for an ECV where a doctor would attempt to physically turn the baby. We were so overwhelmed at having to make this quick decision. We decided to go for an ECV and if that didn’t work than we would go for an elective caesarean. I knew that if I attempted a natural birth I would be so worried about something going wrong that this wouldn’t help myself or the baby. And if I was to have a caesarean at least it would be a calmer and more controlled situation by electing to have one.
We were back at the hospital the next day to have the ECV. I’d done a bit of research online the night before as I just didn’t know what to expect. Generally people said that it could be uncomfortable but not too bad…ok, I could do this! The doctor explained that ECV’s were usually done on women who were around 36-37 weeks pregnant and as I was at nearly 42 weeks, this wasn’t going to be a very pleasant experience and suggested my husband might want to hold my hand for support….gone was my positive thinking. The doctor and midwife then began the procedure. It’s hard to describe what this actually involved. They were kneading down into my skin to get to the baby and one would push whilst the other pulled. It was much more painful than I expected and my husband said it was horrific to watch. After a few minutes of this it was apparent that the baby wasn’t going to budge. My skin was red raw and stinging, it looked as if someone had been doing Chinese burns all over my stomach!!
So that was it, I was having a caesarean. Although it wasn’t the birth experience I thought I would have, I just wanted to do whatever was safest for our baby. The doctor and midwife informed me that there might be an opportunity to have the caesarean that afternoon! I couldn’t believe it, I might finally get to hold my baby in a few hours’ time! They went away to see what they could do, the midwife soon returned with a gown and compression socks (fit!) and said it was just a case of waiting for a moment that they could fit me in. I got myself ready and we called our family to let them know what was happening. We’d been there a couple of hours and were still waiting so my husband popped out to grab something to eat, it was whilst he was out that the doctor returned to tell me that they just couldn’t find the time to do my caesarean that day and I was to come back in two days’ time. I was devastated and just burst into tears, after everything, my hopes had been risen and then shattered. The Doctor told me it was important that if I went into labour beforehand, I was to get to the hospital immediately.
I cried most of the way home…good old hormones! My husband drove us straight to the chippy and then picked me up a bottle of wine (alcohol free!)…these helped to make me feel a little better about the situation. I finally accepted that it was ok and one more day really wasn’t long to get through. We started to make some plans for our last day together before becoming parents….we decided we’d go out for breakfast, shopping, visit family etc…it wouldn’t be too bad…I could do this.
Surprise, surprise… once again things didn’t go to plan! I woke up at 4:45am to go for a wee…a regular occurrence as any pregnant woman will know so nothing unusual there! I fell back asleep before waking again at 5:15 for another wee…again, not unusual. However, this time I found I had ‘the show’…really!? For weeks I had been waiting for this to happen and now I actually wanted to get through one more day, it appeared! I woke my husband up (not an easy job) to let him know that labour could be on its way. But as ‘the show’ could apparently appear hours or even days before labour, we weren’t too concerned, and as men annoyingly can do…he was back asleep in seconds. Within a few minutes the contractions started! I remember reassuring myself that contractions can also start a while before anything else happens and that as my waters hadn’t broken, I had nothing to worry about. Cue…my waters breaking. It was 5:30am. At 4:45am, there had been no sign at all of labour. Only half an hour later and in the space of fifteen minutes I’d had ‘the show’, contractions starting and my waters broke!
Off to the hospital we went. My understanding was that contractions often start quite slowly…only having a few an hour and then they will build up as time goes on. From the start mine were coming every five minutes. I was panicking the entire journey as it felt like it was all happening so fast. It was the longest journey ever. We arrived at the hospital and I was put in a room with three other women. A midwife introduced herself, got me hooked up to the relevant machines and gave me some paracetamol. She reassured us that the baby was doing ok. She then attempted to see how far dilated I was. She seemed a bit confused and went to get another midwife. The second midwife had a feel and also seemed confused, she went to get a Doctor. The Doctor came and asked if I minded her examining me…after all my membrane sweeps and her now being the third person this morning, all dignity and embarrassment was gone…so go ahead love! She explained to me that due to the baby being breeched it made it difficult to assess how far along I was. They couldn’t work out if what they could feel was the dilation or the baby’s bottom…she needed to make sure I wasn’t too far along for a caesarean. To this, I quickly informed her that I was not having this baby naturally and it would have to stay in. She acknowledged that this was worrying for me but she had to decide what was safest for me and the baby. It was finally decided that I was only 1cm dilated and therefore it was safer for the caesarean to go ahead.
It was then explained to me that there would be a bit of a wait as there was a staff change over from the night to the day shift. The contractions were still coming every five minutes and they were getting stronger. I was surprised that the worst pain for me was in my back, I always assumed it would be in the bump! The nausea also came back with a vengeance. I told the midwife I felt ill and she said she would get me some medication. After what felt like hours she hadn’t returned so my husband went to find her and request the medication. We waited and waited and she still didn’t return, he went to find her again. By this point I had started being sick. When she returned she had the medication and then asked if I had been offered any gas and air…no I hadn’t. She came back a few minutes later with the canister, and at the same time a doctor arrived to tell me that they were ready to take me in for the caesarean. This must have been about 10’o’clock. I had been there for four hours, contracting every few minutes and being sick….we’d had to ask more than once for medication to help with the sickness and I was only offered paracetamol until the last minute when it was too late to accept any other pain relief.
Being in the operating room was probably the least stressful part of my whole experience. I was just so relieved that after everything that had happened, I was finally going to get to meet my little one. I was surprised at how many people were surrounding me but they were all so lovely and reassuring and I felt in safe hands. I can remember lying there and chatting away with the anaesthetist chatting about anything and everything. At one point I remember shouting out “I’m going to be sick!” In response the anaesthetist quickly upped my sickness medication…I liked him!
Finally...I heard my baby’s cry. The doctor performing the surgery held the baby up over the screen. I remember just staring trying to see if it had a winky or not. I think a mixture of exhaustion and all the medication was making my vision blurry and I just couldn’t work it out, “what is it?” I asked Wayne. He had the biggest grin on his face as he told me we had a girl.
My little girl was placed on my chest and as soon as I spoke to her, her beautiful eyes shot up to my face and we just gazed at each other. I can’t describe the feeling of love and relief I felt at that moment. She was finally here and we were both ok! I’d done it, I’d become a Mum… let the parenting begin!