”Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”…
Words can and do hurt. Particularly at times when you are feeling vulnerable. Whether this is affected by hormones or related to mental health, words really can have an impact on someone.
There were times during my pregnancy and after birth that things were said to me that impacted me negatively.
On my 30th birthday I was in A&E. I’d been being severely sick every 20 minutes for over 36 hours, a GP had done a test to find I was dehydrated, I couldn’t keep any food or water down. I was physically and mentally drained…”I’ve seen women a lot worse”…the Doctor at A&E told me.
When severely ill during my pregnancy… “I know you feel ill but try and enjoy this magical time” I was told.
I was eight days overdue when it was found that my daughter was breech. “Did you not feel the baby turn?” a midwife asked me.
Whilst out in public and bottle feeding my daughter one day someone asked “oh, so you’re not breastfeeding then?”
‘Jokes’ were made about antidepressants and referred to as “happy pills” in front of me.
On my Instagram page I asked for people to tell me any comments that had been made to them, a couple of examples I was given;
”At least your baby is healthy, that’s the main thing”.
”At least you didn’t have to give birth” (to someone who had a caesarean).
Pregnancy, birth and parenting are difficult enough and words such as these really do have the power to knock people down, whether intentional or not.
Luckily words can also have a positive impact and be empowering.
A simple, “you’ve got this!” can have an amazing effect on someone struggling.
Someone from instagram told me that any positive comments made about their child gives them a confidence boost….as it should!
It is so important to support each other. No journey is the same and cannot be compared.
Since starting this blog I regularly receive positive and supportive messages and it is incredible the confidence this has given me. I hope I remember the feeling and that it will help me to not let negative words knock me in the future, and only give my attention to the positives.